During the Second World War, rumours of parachute spies dressed as nuns proliferated through the English countryside. Woe betide any nun who went out without her identity papers! She was likely to be arrested and frog-marched to the nearest police station. Of course, we now know those rumours were unfounded. But then… I overheard heard the strangest story and it made me wonder.
Several months ago, I was typing away at my laptop in a community centre. I was seated near a group of seniors, who were nattering about grandchildren, pets and local events. Their words flowed over and around me, until suddenly my ears pricked up. I had head the word “spy” go by! I listened intently as a white-haired septuagenarian shared this story:
“… spy from Germany. He parachuted into England dressed as a nun. After he landed, he dumped his radio transmitter into a pond. He found a nunnery nearby and joined the nuns as they were leaving their building. The nunnery looked after unwed mothers. As a nun, he took care of the pigs and was very good at. Eventually, however, the nuns figured out that he wasn’t a real nun and gave him a choice: (1) ‘We’ll turn you in as a German spy’ or (2) ‘You can wed one of the unwed mothers here.’ Naturally the spy chose the latter. He and the girl lived in a cottage on the nunnery estate and had four or five kids together.”
By this point, my eyebrows had disappeared into my hairline and I struggled to contain my laughter. Surely this lady didn’t actually believe this account? There were so many things wrong with this story. Did any spy ever parachute into any country dressed as a nun? Would nuns not immediately notice the addition of a stranger? Not to mention a male stranger? How did he have a habit that perfectly matched theirs… And on it goes.
I really wasn’t sure if this lovely lady had heard snippets of spy accounts over the years and then simply conflated them together, or if it was something else altogether. I did a bit of research and learned that she was obviously offering the Coles Notes version of a fiction story by well-known author Alexander McCall Smith.
I’ve read several of his books from the No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency series (set in Botswana). That was many years ago, however, and I had no idea he had branched out into the espionage genre.
The Private Life of Spies is a collection of short stories, five to be exact. The one we are most interested in is simply called “Nuns and Spies (England, 1943)”. The story is a light-hearted and humourous tale that follows 37-year old Conradin Muller, a native Hamburger… er… Hamburgian. Recruited into the Abwehr against his will, he is a reluctant spy when he parachutes into England in September 1943. Luckily for him, his habit is almost identical to a group of Anglican nuns who live near his drop zone. They recognize him as a man from early on but allow him to live in their community for several weeks/months. Eventually the Mother Superior takes him aside and confides that they know he is a man. It is left unsaid if she knows he is a spy. He takes her subtle hint that marrying one of the unwed mothers (a woman who has 3 children by different fathers, and another one on the way) might be a good idea. She gets him papers that show him to be an Polish sailor invalided out of military service. Conradin and Elsie live happily ever after in a cottage on the convent grounds.
It’s a cute story but I always struggle with these fictional accounts that sail a bit too close to the truth. At one point, early in the story, McCall Smith writes about the myth that spies dressed as nuns parachuted into England: “and yet, with the recent discovery of Conradin Muller’s diary in a second-hand book shop in Cambridge, we now have a reliable first-hand account of just such a case”. Hmmm… that line makes the entire story far more “real” to unsuspecting readers.
I have read several of the other short-stories in The Private Life of Spies. Some are obviously tongue-in-cheek and follow obvious fictional characters. But then we have a story called Donald and Ovgeny that sent me to dig up the facts. The story follows Archibald Kerr (British ambassador), his Russian valet Ovgeny Yost and one of the Cambridge Five spies, Donald Maclean. Given that all three characters actually existed, one is left wondering what is fact and what is fiction. It is an intriguing story, but it is just that, a story.
I’m glad that the septuagenarian I overheard was simply sharing the outline of a fictional story that she had read. I’m glad that she didn’t think the story was fact. Although I do sometimes wonder. I know virtually nothing about Donald Maclean and Archie Kerr, but this fictional story is now in my memory banks. If someone ever mentions Donald Maclean, this is the information that my brain will dredge up. I hope I never share the information as “fact”!